Welcome to the Paris Olympics 2024, a global spectacle that’s less about athletic prowess and more about the gay state of affairs in the world today. From the opening ceremony to the final medal tally, this year’s games have been a rainbow-coloured parade of agendas, controversies, and low viewership numbers. Let’s dive into why the 2024 Olympics might be the gayest sporting event ever—literally and figuratively.
The Opening Ceremony: A Festival of Flamboyance
The opening ceremony was nothing short of a glitter explosion. Forget about the traditional parade of nations; this year, it was more like a Pride parade with a few flags thrown in. Athletes marched in under a giant rainbow arch, with music so upbeat it made you wonder if you were at the Olympics or a nightclub in Ibiza. The whole thing felt like a giant, glittery middle finger to anyone who thought sports were still about, you know, sports.
The Rainbow Roster: A Record Number of Gay Athletes
Never before has there been such an emphasis on the sexual orientation of athletes. This year, the LGBTQ community is not just represented—they’re practically running the show. Every other athlete proudly waves the rainbow flag, from divers to sprinters. Now, don’t get me wrong, representation is excellent, but when the number of press releases about an athlete’s sexuality outnumbers the ones about their actual performance, you start to wonder if the focus is a bit misplaced.
The Gender Bender: Male-Born Boxer Beats Down Female Boxer
In what was arguably the most controversial event of the games, a male-born boxer dominated a female-born opponent in a match that left everyone questioning the state of modern sports. It was within the rules because they had changed to accommodate this new world order. However, it still felt like watching a heavyweight go up against a featherweight. The fairness of the competition? Let’s say it’s as questionable as the decision to hold a beach volleyball tournament in Paris in February.
The LGBTQ Agenda: Front and Center
If you thought you were tuning in to watch sports, think again. The coverage of the Paris Olympics has been less about who’s winning gold and more about who’s winning the award for Most Woke. Every other segment is a deep dive into an athlete’s personal life, struggles with identity, or journey to self-acceptance. It’s great content for a daytime talk show but for the Olympics? Not so much.
The Lowest Viewership Ever
And how has the world responded to this new direction? By turning off their TVs, apparently. The Paris Olympics 2024 are officially the least-watched Olympics in history. It could be because people don’t want to be lectured on politics while watching pole vaulting. Or maybe they’re tired of trying to figure out which gender class they’re watching. Either way, the numbers don’t lie.
Politics vs. Sports: A Battle for the Soul of the Olympics
Once upon a time, politics and sports were as separate as oil and water. The Olympics were about the best athletes in the world competing on a level playing field, focusing only on who was fastest, strongest, or most skilled. But those days are gone. Now, the games are a battleground for social issues, with athletes as the unwilling soldiers.
If the Olympics want to survive, they must return to basics: fair competition with easily identifiable weight and gender classes. Let the athletes be athletes, and save the politics for the politicians. The future of the games depends on it. Because if we continue down this path, the only thing left to celebrate is the number of Twitter hashtags trending during the closing ceremony.
Get Back to the Sport
The Paris Olympics 2024 has shown us what happens when sports become a platform for everything except sports. Suppose we want to save the Olympics from becoming nothing more than a glorified social justice rally. In that case, we need to refocus on what made these games great in the first place: athletic excellence, fair competition, and the simple joy of watching the best in the world go head-to-head.
So here’s to hoping that the next Olympics remembers what it’s really about, not the politics, not the agendas, but the athletes. Because at the end of the day, the world doesn’t tune in to see who’s the wokest—they tune in to see who’s the best.
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