Ah, “Game of Thrones.” The epic saga that had us glued to our screens for nearly a decade, promising a climax as grand as its journey. Instead, we were left with an ending so dogsh*t that it made “Lost” look like a masterpiece. Let’s dive into why the “Game of Thrones” finale was a colossal disappointment, compare it to better TV finales, and explore why Bran was the worst choice for king. And because we’re not here to complain, we’ll suggest far better alternatives that would’ve made fans cheer instead of weep.
The Dogsh*t Disaster: How It All Fell Apart
“Game of Thrones” started as a gritty, unpredictable show where no one was safe. It evolved into a cultural phenomenon, setting a new standard for epic fantasy storytelling. But by the final season, the writers seemed more interested in catching the next Starbucks cup cameo than delivering a satisfying conclusion.
Rushed Plotlines: Characters who took years to develop suddenly made inexplicable decisions. Daenerys, the breaker of chains, snapped and went full Mad Queen faster than you can say “Dracarys.” Jaime Lannister’s redemption arc was tossed out the window like Bran in episode one. And don’t get me started on the Night King—an existential threat turned into an ice popsicle by Arya in a single episode.
Loose Ends Everywhere: Remember the prophecies, the build-up around Azor Ahai, or the significance of Jon Snow’s lineage? Neither do the writers. These intricate plot threads were discarded like yesterday’s leftovers, leaving fans bewildered and betrayed.
Compared to Better Finales
Let’s look at some finales that got it right:
Breaking Bad: Walter White’s journey ended with a bang, tying loose ends and delivering poetic justice. It was a masterclass in storytelling.
The Sopranos: Controversial, yes, but fitting. It left viewers pondering the fate of Tony Soprano in a way that felt true to the show’s tone.
Friends: Wrapped up ten years of laughs with heartfelt goodbyes that felt earned and satisfying.
Compared to these, “Game of Thrones” feels like a hastily scribbled note left on a fridge—disrespectful to its characters and fans.
Bran the Broken: The Worst Choice for King
Bran Stark, the Three-Eyed Raven. The kid who spent most of the series being dragged around and staring blankly at things. The one who, when asked if he would take the throne, replied, “Why do you think I came all this way?” Seriously, Bran? You weren’t exactly auditioning for the job.
Here’s why Bran was a terrible choice:
1. Lack of Leadership Skills: Bran has the personality of a wet mop. His time as the Three-Eyed Raven did not exactly hone his leadership skills—more like his tree-sitting skills.
2. No Connection with the Realm: He spent most of the series detached from humanity. How is someone practically an emotionless Wikipedia supposed to inspire and lead?
3. Plot Convenience: His selection felt more like a writer’s shortcut than a well-earned conclusion. It’s as if they threw a dart at a board of characters and hit Bran.
Who Should’ve Been King? The Better Alternatives
1. Jon Snow: The rightful heir with the most compelling arc. He united the Wildlings and the Night’s Watch, and his Targaryen lineage set him up perfectly. Plus, he’s a proven leader who actually cares about people.
2. Tyrion Lannister: The cleverest character with a deep understanding of politics and human nature. He’s been Hand of the King, Hand of the Queen—why not just make him king?
3. Sansa Stark: She transformed from a naive girl into a strong, capable leader. She knew the game, played it well, and earned the North’s respect. Her as Queen in the North made sense, but why stop there?
4. Arya Stark: The most badass character. Sure, she’s a bit murdery, but she has the skills, the guts, and the ability to take down any threat. Plus, it would be a unique twist.
5. Gendry Baratheon: Legitimate heir to the Baratheon name. A king with a strong claim who’s also a man of the people.
6. Samwell Tarly: Okay, maybe not king material, but wouldn’t he make a great Grand Maester? Just saying.
Conclusion: How It Could’ve Been Better
The “Game of Thrones” finale didn’t just drop the ball; it threw it out of the stadium. By choosing Bran, the writers missed a chance to deliver a satisfying, well-earned conclusion to one of the greatest TV shows ever. Instead, we got an ending that felt more like a cruel joke than a fitting end to a beloved saga.
So here’s to the “Game of Thrones” that could’ve been. May future shows learn from its mistakes and give us the endings we deserve. And if you’re ever feeling down about it, just remember: it could always be worse. You could be Bran, sitting in a wheelchair, wondering how the hell you ended up king.
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